When I was in 9th grade I quit choir. The crazy part is I didn't quit because singing was no longer cool or because my crush signed up for guitar class. I quit it because I loved it.
And I thought I failed; wasn't a good enough singer.
And would fail again.
I truly loved singing in choir in middle school. But when I tried out for Womens' Concert Choir, I was not selected.
And I never tried out again.
Today I laugh recalling the pretentious title of this "select group" and the prim and proper choir director, Ms. "T", who probably thought that I was one of the rebellious kids due to how I dressed. Perhaps she already had her girls picked out before the audition. Or perhaps I didn't make it because 20 other young voices sounded better.
It really doesn't matter. What matters is that I love singing. And that many years later, I re-found joy in singing (and musicians to sing with) after letting go of the need to "good".
And one important lesson I learned is that we must love ourselves enough to stop the value judgements and keep doing what we love, regardless of what our best or worst critics say.
The other lesson here is that when I lost my attachment to sounding "good", my voice became beautiful. In a unique way. And I found kirtan music (devotional singing) which has a much higher purpose. It is about honoring the Divine-- within and outside of ourselves.
Value judgements and perfectionism stifle creativity. Be who you are. Be proud.
No comments:
Post a Comment