Attending

I have something to say.
And there will be no fancy or poetic words today,
Here goes:

Every day I receive the gift of powerful lesson or two-

These lessons are deep and universal. And they typically manifest through an apparant "problem" which creates a degree of inner stress and suffering.

I do not understand why THINGS happen,
Nor can I predict what will happen tomorrow,

But THINGS of significance are continuously occurring,
And we have so much less control over them that we want to believe-

The journey of life has its powerful highs and lows. We all can attest to this.
I simply want to say here that every day contains a healing lesson.

And if our soul is paying attention,
We can hear it.

Want to get back HERE?

We are often reminded of the importance of being present.
The phrase "Be here, Be now" is a cliche, but it is a good reminder.

And the truth is,
"Here" is hard to stick with.

Isn't it?

We know what the repurcussions of not being present are--
Stress, worry about the future, regret about the past...
Even positive anticipation, "I can't wait!" carries with it an unnerving energy.

Sure I can wait.
In fact, I have to. There is no time machine hanging out in my garage...

How do we re-anchor ourselves in the present, when today's bad meeting and tomorrow's fun plans are so tempting to think about constantly?

For starters there are two guiding questions you can ask:

1) What is the lesson HERE? Good or bad, the current situation often contains a lesson. It may be something as simple as "I need more time between appointments." or something profound and life course altering...

2) What can I contribute HERE? Is there a lonely person who needs a smile, a piece of litter that needs recycling, or a skill I can teach?

In other words, how can this moment be of service to me or how can I be of service to this moment?

Breathe in the PEACE right HERE and now, my friends. It is precious.
Namaste.

...Into Possibility

F E A R

The dreaded four letter word.
We do not like to admit it
But it has a tendency to rule our lives,
Or at least steer the ship for periods of time,

Nobody likes fear.
Yet we get comfortable with it.
Because it keeps us in a familar box,
constricts our freedom of thought, feeling and movement--

There is a part of us that likes containment.
It is the part that fears success as much as it fears failure.
I know.
But is that comfort worth it?

So how do we cut the apron string that ties us to fear?
What does it take?

No person-- even most beloved friend, partner, or family member can free you.
Not even if he/she, "says all the right things"...

The release comes from something higher,
BEYOND YOUR RATIONAL MIND

The freedom can come, and will come.
Love, Self Accceptance, your Higher Power

You deserve to expand,
OUT OF FEAR
AND INTO POSSIBILITY

What color are your thoughts?

The more pain we feel around an issue or situation, the more black and white our thoughts become. The mind becomes rigid and often exagerates the negative, labeling a person/action/characteric of ourselves as all bad or all good.
This process really misses many details and complexities and drains us of color.
It also causes us to be more harsh and judgemental with others and our selves.

Think of a situation you have strong feelings about. What color are your thoughts?

More than likely they are not a rainbow. And you may need to relax and open to up to other points of view.
This is one of the purposes of psychotherapy. There are many approaches and models; however most aim at forming new stories, outlooks and neural pathways which are more logical, accepting, and gentle.

You are a colorful being of light and love.
And your thoughts deserve to reflect this.

What color are your thoughts?

What if...

What if...

What if every battle you won and every battle you lost,
And even those that did not have a winner

Were nothing more than a lesson?

What if all of the pain and the joy, the disappointments and glory, the confusion and clarity of the past

Were all messy, yet essential in bringing us to the golden present....

And what if the greatest lesson of all
Is that you do not have to fight any more

You can surrender,
Merge,
Knowing that control is an illusion

No more of the oil and water of yesterday

Love and trust now
Only Now

Expansion!

What does it mean to expand our horizons?

I believe that a great life is one of constant change-- of healing, of learning, and of new experiences. We are all passionate about something. Often more than one thing. Yet frequently, we do not feel full because we are caterering to our Ego's "wants" rather than to our soul's rich purpose.

We are each only here for a finite amount of time. So reflect on this word for a moment: Expansion!

It is in new places both physically and mentally/spiritually/emotionally that the colors of life brighten and our palates become satiated.

With gratitude and humility we must continue to seek change. Change can take countless forms-- for example: reading new books to further knowledge, taking on a volunteer project, immersion in unfamiliar culture, whether that be close to home or abroad...

Expansion involves walking through fear- no longer avoiding a dream because it is easier to stay in the comfort zone than it is to step off the dock, to risk "failure".

There is no such thing as failure.
If you are holding on, convincing yourself that you are "not ready" or that your dream is not important, untie that knot,

Let out the line,
Allow your boat to drift,

EXPAND!
You are rich and vibrant and beautiful,
Life will support your efforts.

Arms of Eternity

What if we just really trusted
What if we could believe completely, through the core of our being
That whatever happens in this human life,
No matter what trials appear on our path,

WE ARE SAFE IN THE ARMS OF ETERNITY

Safe, secure, in the arms of a higher power.

What does this mean to you?
What might this mean for you?

For me it means that I can ditch the tension, the tightness,
the CONTROL--

The false belief that thinking the right thoughts, planning, and constantly doing is going to lead to the outcome I "need".

What do we need for contentment other than peace and existence in the present moment?

Trust in the arms of eternity;
They invisibly circle around us,
Always there to catch our fall,
Always there to love us

The Gift and The Responsibility

As humans we are given the gift of a journey.
And with the journey comes great suffering, great joys, and a great responsibility.

We have been given the ability to think, to act, to make choices. And no matter what trials and tribulations have occurred in the past,
We have the responsibility to use our lives to contribute in some way to the greater good.

NOW

You are VERY special and the world NEEDS you to KNOW this specialness, and to SHARE your talents in a meaningful and responsible way.

It is so easy in the "busyness" of the journey to forget and/or to fail to discover ourselves and purpose...I know, trust me I have been there...gettin' caught up in believing that life is about is about somehow getting "everything" (bigger money, 'better' partners, shinier objects) so we can be happy or happier.

Paradoxically this process leads to less "happy"-- to Ego and to struggle as we try harder and harder to "fix" or upgrade our lives.

A gentle voice deep within whispers:

It is not HAVING or BEING the best; it is about GIVING of your TRUE self--
SHARING YOUR GIFTS with the world--

May fulfillment arrive at your loving, authentic door.

Fact or Perception?

I am humbled by how much there is learn.
Even on my toughest days the lessons are there, especially if I am paying attention.

One lesson I learned today is this:
Be mindful of the filter.

The filter is the lens through which we see the world and interpret events, make judgments of others... Our filter influenced by many things-- culture, family socialization, past experiences/relationships, even our mood.

Today when I was leaving yoga I noticed that my yoga mat had been moved. My filter, or perception told me, "Someone left the yoga studio with my mat". I was not angry because my filter told me that it was an accident-- "Yoga students do not steal". My filter also told me, "You need a new mat anyway."

About an hour later I realized that I really did not know the facts. And my perception may have been wrong.

I went back to the studio and found my mat.
Perhaps another student borrowed my mat for the following class, assuming it belonged to the yoga studio.

But wait - fact or perception?

Be mindful of the filter.
Give others the benefit of the doubt.
And give your beautiful self a hug.

Six words of truth

Every person has and will again, experience
Hurt by the words or actions of another person, and of course
Every person feels loneliness sometimes
And emptiness....

To experience suffering is to be human.

Even those blessed with healthy, loving relationships experience deep and painful emotions at times, as a result of actions/interactions.

Please during your darker hours, remember these six words of truth:

You could not be more loved!

I am not a religious person
and I can't prove it, but I think the fact that we are here
Speaks volumes--

THERE IS A HIGHER POWER
of Goodness, Light, and Love and

You are loved infinitely by this power.

You could not be more loved.

**in closing, I want to add that I did not actively string together these six words. They were spoken to me, by God, at a time when I needed to hear them**

Spiritual some days?

I will be honest, I am spiritual on some days.
Let me re-phrase that a bit--
There are certain moment when I am able to connect with my spirit and my higher power. And these are precious moments.

I am not an enlightened guru or religious devotee, or spiritual teacher. I am just a normal gal, but even I have moments of true connection....so I am sure you do too!

You know the difference between those days (or parts of the day) when you are present, content, and things seem to flow easily? Perhaps a creative endeavor manifests or you accomplish considerable work without feeling stressed or even trying?
Ahh... And in those moments there is a sense that nothing is lacking, any emotion can be tolerated, and/or a deep sensation of peace and love radiates from your core.

Those are the moments when we are "tuned in" as Michael Beckwith says, to the frequency of God. When we are "tuned in" we are living as our real Self,versus expressing Ego (false self), which tends to control things, complain and/or finds reasons why things aren't good enough.

I like being my real Self-- loving and authentic and creative. And it certainly feels better than my Ego, which can really agonize for days...

So I ask myself and I ask you,
What helps to get our Ego out of the way to make room for what is real?
What helps us to be
Spiritual some days?

I don't know the answer but I know Who does.

When the chains come off

You know those moments in life when you are at your best?
Feeling your best? Lifted!? Full of positive energy and that sense of possibility?

For today's post I am going to refer to those experiences as "when the chains come off"....
For some people this happens on a daily basis, for others it may only be a few times a year. Or a few times in lifetime.
What happens when the chains come off? What makes those moments feel so different?
Those are the times when the Ego, or human mind releases its grip over us.
The human mind which places limitations on things; that judges and categorizes and makes up the story about who we are and what is possible and not possible in our life.
Think about a time when you were lifted. Lifted spiritually, engergetically, emotionally-- to a point when your mind and your thoughts and your story faded away...

What were you doing?
How did you get there?
For some people it has occurred around others with a high vibrational level, a guru or spiritual teachers ... It can also happen around people we love so much that the high vibrational frequency of love lifts because it is so powereful.
For me this often occurs after I have "tuned in" after a yoga class, meditation; when I sing. And 4 out of 5 times this happens in a peaceful or natural setting (in the mountains, a garden, near a body of water).

We can break free of our chains!
And doing so reminds us that we are SO MUCH MORE than our minds tell us.
Our spirit, our being has unlimited power. It is the power connect us to the Creator, and to all other beings. It is a higher power.

And when we tap into that power,
Creativity and strength flow
And we are in our true state, capable of magnificent measures.

Remember to tune in...
And let the chains come off.

Compassion for the child

Children are resilient, new and fresh in this world. They are changing quickly, influenced strongly by their family and society. In families of complex problems and a society of mixed messages, this can be a double edged sword.

Everyone, regardless of how "privileged" their childhood was, carries baggage from childhood. These early experiences are worth looking at. How does the past contribute to current thought or behavior patterns that are unhealthy?

It is important to remember what it was like to be a child, in a conscious, memory-specific way. Instead of just acting and reacting in the day to day, reflect, "Does this have anything to do with rigid or negative messages I received and internalized?"

Perhaps you will seek therapy or maybe you will practice yoga, knowing that on certain days you need more self love.

Also consider spending time with a child. I believe that every child is in need of positive attention from an adult, whether that child comes from a privileged family or an "at risk" family. Is there a child you can reach out to today?

And when you are with a child, listen. Use unconditional positive regard. By simply being present you are showing a child that he/she is valued.

We tend to forget that we are all connected! The pains of others affect us and vice versa. And the good news is we each possess a beautiful, strong, loving spirit! When we give this part of us the floor-- we not only help others, but we also heal.

Have compassion for yourself.
Reach in and reach out.
Helping heals.

Wings like the hawk

I had a Aha! moment (to use Oprah's term) this evening while walking through the Arizona desert at dusk.

My summer has felt a bit like climbing a slippery trail in the mountains. I was in a good place and moving toward the summit; but excessive effort was needed to avoid falling into the mud. This resulted in missing the joy of the journey and the view of wildflowers, snow capped peaks, and flowing streams around me....

What if we were the like hawk I spotted today,
Steadfast,
Powerful

The hawk who carefully locates an updraft,
And stops
Suspended in the air -- by the power of the wind
His wings are spread and full of energy,
Yet he is still, observing the world and
Content to remain in the present moment

I ask, can you do this too?
What does it take to make changes,
To break old patterns?

What does it take to soar through life,
Moving with the currents of nature,
Without the unnecessary human struggle
And self-inflicted suffering
Of the mind--

The mind, which often tells us negative stories to pull us into the mud
When our present moment circumstances are perfectly fine.
Beautiful, even.

What if we were like hawk?

Spiritual Salad

I was recently both humbled and inspired by a stranger I encountered at a vegetarian cafe.

It was a sunny, Saturday in August. I had just loaded my plate with organic, wholesome, delicious food that I had the privilege or purchasing because I am fortunate enough to have a steady source of income.

It was quite simply, a perfect moment. Yet, quite honestly, I was spending it on mental distraction and identifying potential sources of discontent.
Like we often do I was thinking a dozen or so useless thoughts at once. And a thought or two of self pity, i.e. "It really is not good to be alone for lunch."

Enter: Stranger to the right. He walked over with his salad, sat down. He paused. Thirty seconds later he still had not touched his salad. Instead, his eyes were closed, his head bowed in gratitude, his open palms raised above his plate.

The stranger was blessing his salad.

Ok, thanks God. I get it! I needed that lesson.

Eat in peace, presence and gratitude, my friends.
And eat well.

On a level much deeper than thought

When I get stressed out and lose myself it is because I get caught up in the "life" I think I should be living-- what I think I should I be doing, where I think I should be, how I should look--
It is ironic because all those things
Are exactly what I am not.

I challenge you to reflect on the story in your head regarding "success", and what is good enough and what is expected...the story of who you think you should be...
I challenge you to stop, let the story go and
Breathe,
What comes to you?
Feel,
What is real?

In this moment YOU are real
And by this I mean your beingness, your spirit--
Not your body,
Not your mind,
Not what you do
Or the material things you have aquired.

When I take a moment to look at my hands,
I am reminded that our bodies are the vessel for our spirit;
Our bodies merely enable us to physically move about this world,
To fulfill our Purpose

And perhaps the purpose of your hands today,
Is to simply hold the hands of another

God knows and loves who you really are
As do YOU
Love and know yourself
On a level much deeper than thought

The Locked Gate

This evening on my way out of the office, I was presented with an unexpected obstacle-- the gate that separates the parking area from my building was locked.
After walking to my car this way hundreds of times, my reaction was of complete shock!
My mind immediately judged (as minds do) and proclaimed this incident a major annoyance-- a block of my path home.

For a moment I even contemplated climbing the high chain link fence (wearing a skirt!) before recognizing a much simpler solution:
Walking out a different entrance. Time required: 4.75 minutes

What is ironic is that I needed a walk more than anything. I was feeling tense and short of breath, stressed out and irritable after one of "those days".
The locked gate turned out to be a gift in disguise. It was the catalyst for a an evening of relaxatioin and spirituality that I would not have otherwise given myself.

Breathing in the fresh air, soothed by the energy of the pine trees on my "longer" way to the car, I became relaxed and more present. I then realized that I needed to stop my hurried pace and continue the peace throughout my evening.

Often what we perceive to be an obstacle or a problem is really a detour--and one that can lead us to a new and different place.

Perhaps a place we don't even realize we need to go...

Reflect on this for a moment.
And walk in peace, my friends.

Every ship needs an anchor

My question for today,

How do we remain steady in a sea of constant change?

How do we maintain a sense of peace as we bear witness to the trials, tribulations, and tragedies of our own lives and in the world at large?

There is certainly more than one answer. And you must find your own.

For me it helps to show up for life with open arms--
Without a strict agenda
I find more peace and steadiness when I loosen my attachment to outcomes and when I can be open to "the mystery of life"-- the events that bring joy and meaning, the ones that bring pain, and
Everything in between...

Having goals, intention and direction is important,
But there is also a time to let go...
Because the waves are going to take you on a wild ride and trying to "fight" the ocean doesn't work

And remember this:
Every ship needs an anchor.
Is it going to be your Higher Power,
Or Love,
Or Music
Or Meditation
Or Trust,
Or _____?

Find your anchor.

Every Moment Matters

You are probably familiar with the concept that our happiness is based not on the specific circumstances of our lives, but on how we perceive ourselves and our lives.

Take a moment to reflect on this.

Then ask yourself, "Where have my thoughts been today?"
"Have they been stuck in the past/imagining the future or have I been present?"
"Have my thoughts been overly critical of myself or others?"
"Or have they been optimistic?"
"Are my thoughts healthy?"
"Are they realistic?"

I do not believe that we always choose our feelings. But we do choose our thoughts, often subconsciously. And our thoughts then lead to feeling better or feeling worse--toward embracing the day and making the most of it, or complaining and taking our precious life for granted.

Guess what?
You have a choice to make when you wake up each morning. Ask can ask yourself,
"What thoughts and actions am I going to say yes to today?"
"What thoughts and actions am I going to avoid because they are not healthy or helping me to actualize to my full potential?"

Human life is temporary.
Every moment matters.

Letting go with Grace

I want to encourage you to let go,
Let yourself fall...

I know its scary
As humans we worry about what will happen
If we l loosen our grip;
If we are no longer "in control" of circumstances (events, outcomes, relationships, accomplishments, etc.)

But when are we ever really in control?
Isn't it just an illusion?

I know you may be restless, uncomfortable, eager or anxious
For more
For something desired in the future-- more peace, a "fuller" life, there is something that you want
And that is beautiful
But are you gripping or grasping?

It is ok to just relax,
You are exactly where you need to be.
So breathe here
Hug yourself here

Doing this does not stop you from moving forward...

It may feel counterintutive, but
For a moment
Let go,
Visualize your hands opening, palms toward the sky

Let TRUST and PATIENCE
Flow into your being
Along with whatever else might be there,

TRUST, PATIENCE,
Breathe it in....and

FALL BACK
INTO THE ARMS OF GRACE

What you may really need

Are you often thinking of something you might want to do, or buy or experience?

What you may really need right now may be different from you think you need.

We tend to live in constant state of "what's next?" or "I need _____(insert person/realtionship, material item, experience, ect."

Is that why it can be so hard to sit still, stay present and relaxed?

Narcissists aside, most people have a deep seated insecurity and with it, a true fear of being alone.

Why is this?
On one hand we humans are social creatures. We thrive on the energy of others. Just as we need food/water/shelter/sleep, we need and crave love.
Often this love can be given and received from other humans. That's why we marry, have children; we tend to stick together in families, clans, and communities.

However there are holes and dysfunction in many of those structures. And this fuels our hunger for more --"I need something I am not getting".
I want to make a strong point-- yes healthy, loving relationships are wonderful. They do enrich our lives. But they are not enough.

What is often missing?
Self L-O-V-E
And I don't mean you feel good about yourself because you have become a good looking person, or a smart person, a socially responsible person, a successful person, etc.

I mean LOVE
for your self, that is unconditional,
A love that holds you and rocks you and nurtures you
Even when you fall
Or fail
LOVE for your essence, your true divine beauty

We must cultivate self love.

But how?
Ask yourself this question. And you know what is true for you.
And here are a few tips to get you started:1. Connect with your purpose. What do you love, believe in, lose yourself in doing?
Do it or do more of it.
2. Strive to surround yourself only with people, places, things that make you feel good. A good friend of mine says, "Pay attention to how your feel." Your intuition guides you. If, for example violent movies or tabloids or a certain friend contribute to an uneasy feeling, make a different choice.
3. If you can and do feel the presence of a greater higher power, make time to meditate, pray, and remember...

When you begin to fall in love with your being, anything is possible.

Every day really is a blessing, my friends.
And so are you

The heart knows

You have probably heard the phrase "Do not believe everything you think".
Take a moment to reflect on it.
What does this mean?
How could this apply to spiritual health, to feeling and living better?

I am not really getting anywhere. I have goals and know what I want to do, but I am just not moving forward. I feel scattered and haven't done enough this year.
Ah-- wait!! The words above in italics are nothing but a trick of the mind, aren't they? A negative message that I just sent myself.

We do this all the time, don't we? We get down and discouraged and then tell ourselves reasons why-- why life isn't quite going the way it "should".

And does it help?

I have seen a common pattern in with humans.
It goes like this:
Uncomfortable feelings-- sadness, loneliness, disappointment, anger, guilt, jealousy...etc... that are not acknowledged and shed when they arise get stuck in the body. They lead to tightness, stress; they block energy channels.

Then a very sneaky thing happens to us:
As we go through our day and the tough feelings begin to surface, we either ignore them and stuff them OR our minds make us stories that are not accurate or loving.
Three common mind tricks:
1. "Self competence doubt" - I want to achieve this dream but I doubt I can. And I don't want to feel worse from failing so I am not going to try right now.
2. "My life is missing something" - I am not feeling happy. That must mean I am lacking something-- money, a partner, a better appearance. When I "fix" this I will be ok.
3. "Low self worth" - I am not good enough at ____, loved enough, or worthy of what I want.

How unkind we can be to ourselves!

Any therapist will tell you to "feel" your feelings. And I do encourage you to do this. Just be cautious not to believe everything you think when you are dealing with painful feelings.

Speaking from personal experience, this is easier said than done.
Here is a little a tip and I hope it helps:

As you go along your journey, think less with your head and more with your heart.
It is ok, you can love yourself more! You are spiritually perfect and exactly where you need to be.
Practice yoga if can. Open your heart. Love others. You cannot love too much.

The mind thinks,
but the heart KNOWS.

Forgiveness Part Two

Usually when forgiveness is discussed in our culture it is related to the topic of forgiving others, not holding grudges.
The magnitude of the act of forgiveness is great:
When we forgive others for past mistakes, hurts, even betrayals, we can move more fully into alignment with the present and we can find more peace, love, and contentment.And don't we all need more of those three things?

However, it is not always easy to forgive others. Especially when we have held onto a massive hurt for many years. The 'grudge' can almost become part of our identity or can justify the reason we no longer can trust/communicate with/love another person.

I am convinced that there are many roads to forgiving another, and that each person must take the path that works for him/her.

I will share two roads to forgivenss that I have taken:

1. Gratitude- What lessons did you learn from your interactions with the person who wronged you/abandoned you/ect.? Did you learn what not to do? Were there positive things about your relationship before the falling out? How can this experience make you a stronger or wiser person?

2. Separate the person you are angry into two entities: his/her human part and his/her spiritual part. Can you embrace the notion that the transgression was done by the person's Ego (or false self, or nasty human side) and NOT by his/her spirit?
The key to forgiveness is love!
Can you embrace or love the person's spirit?

Forgiving another person who has hurt you or someone you care about is not easy.
But when you reach forgiveness, there is a release, a relief, that is worth the journey.
And you are worth it.

Need more inner peace?

It sounds easy, doesn't it- "Relax" "Chill out" "Let it go"
"Hop back in the Sea of Grace!"

But sometimes it is not that easy. We are not at peace. We are stressed out or uncomfortable with an issue within ourself or with another person. Something in life just isn't working.

At these times, it can be helpful to consider the F word:
FORGIVENESS

I noticed in my work this week that I was getting agitated and self critical because my mind was telling me that I was not being "effective" enough. Now I work in a field that is just as much art as it is science; hence judgments of effectiveness are often subjective. But that is beside the point.

I tried yoga. I tried meditation. But the Aha! moment really arrived (and was probabaly aided by the former two)when I considered forgiveness.
Have I adequately forgiven myself for past mistakes along my learning curve as a professional? And my learning curve of life?
Am I forgiving myself daily for my human imperfections?

For anyone who has struggled with perfectionism, I recommend a daily double mantra,
"Today I will try my best to fulfill my purpose in this life and to treat others and myself with respect, love and dignity."
AND
"I forgive myself for the judgement that I must be 'perfect' and I forgive myself for past mistakes. Instead I find gratitude in struggles and challenges, knowing
that they often lead to GROWTH."

Go in peace and self forgiveness, my friends.

Sea of Grace

Flowing in a divine current of peace
Swimming in the sea of grace....

Doesn't this sound better than:
Frustration with problem A,
Pushing to achieve item B,
Thinking and overthinking current circumstances and/or where you want to be in life?

Instead of flowing with life's current, we often struggle against what is happening in our lives. I have been trying to figure out why as humans we do this....
One culprit may be our powerful and active minds-- always thinking, questioning, wanting something more.
Often the Mind dislikes an issue or circumstance, even when we are perfectly safe and fine.
"No! I wanted that, not this!"
Or the Mind sets artificial timelines and feels disappointed:
"I should be promoted by now," or
"affluent by now", or
"married by now", etc...

This can lead to the following unhealthy conditions:
-being frozen in fear or indecision
-forcing an outcome or trying to control another person
-loss of touch with the present; restlessness and anxiety

I speak the following words as much for myself as for you. I bless you and love you.
If you find that you have lost your peace and are resisting "what is" because your mind keeps telling you what "should" be....Take a deep breath, tell the voice to please be quiet,

Hop back in the Sea of Grace;
The water is warm,
And it is waiting for you.

True Beauty

In a world of overwhelming visual stimuli-- billions of people, media, social messages pushing us to conform to a "look"
that is unattainable, unhealthy or expensive for most people to achieve...
I have recently been asking,

What is true beauty?

Our physical appearances can be admired, overlooked, or abhorred-
But the truth is
We are talking about a bunch of cells that make up the human body-
Cells that literally started from one single cell, minute and invisible.
And one day our cells reach the end of their life span and dissolve,
To dust
To earth

I have wasted a lot of time, deceived by society's misunderstandings.
Yep, if you can relate to this you know-
That when we believe our value lies in our appearance,
We come up short,
Empty.

Why?
Because looking "perfect" is not really beautiful!
Even if you inherited the genes of a super model, you may suffer until you realize that true beauty is not something seen with the human eye.
It is not material;
Anything material has a shelf life, right?
Ashes to ashes

Real beauty is not how you measure up to society's strict cellular standards,
But rather a force of goodness you feel
Deep within
The true self, or the human spirit
Is eternally beautiful!

Real beauty is making peace with the body God gave you and
Knowing your uniqueness,
Your spirit
Your purpose here on earth

If this is still a struggle for you, I can relate.
And I assure you it is ok.
Just keep working to get there.
Take some time to admire your uniqueness, your heart, the love you offer to others.
Get to know yourself better. Be proud of who you are.

Believe me when I say that you are the holder of great beauty.
True beauty.

Just feel it

Many of us (myself included) would prefer not to feel uncomfortable or painful feelings-- sadness, frustration, anxiety, jealousy, and so on....
Naturally we seek distractions, escapes, excuses in attempt to stay in our emotional comfort zone.
There is value in not dwelling on negativity or choosing to stew in misery. But let's face it- we often deny or avoid what is really present:
>"Oh, I don't care. I'm not upset."
This isn't always honest. And what I have learned after years of the using avoidance technique is,
It don't work!
Loss, resentment, irritation, sadness, etc. actually take LONGER to dissolve when we bury them.
Yogis believe that humans store unexpressed emotion in the body. This negative energy gets stuck in our tissues and has detrimental health effects. You know that knot in your upper back or neck? That headache? Uh huh
Whether or not you practice yoga, you have human body. And guess what?
Your feelings want to be felt, fully allowed to manifest. Or else...
Just do it!
Just try it. Like an experiment. Identify the feeling(s). Feel it. Feel it intensify for a few moments until it lessens....dissolves...leaving you lighter.
Now the good and bad news is that the feeling may come back later. But the point is you keep trying to feel it and let it go.
Human life is a rollercoaster of emotion-- the full spectrum, baby!
You've heard the saying, "Without sadness, there could be no joy", right?
Perhaps in your next life time you be a butterfly or a dolphin or a giant tree. At that time you will not need this lesson.
But until then,
Just feel it!!

Are you here?

One of the most powerful and amazing parts of the human body is the brain. Right?
Just look around at society-- medicine, technology, art, music, architecture and take a breath of gratitude that the human brain has enabled such creation.

But what is the downside of our powerful brains?
They work over-time and our thoughts often take us AWAY from the present, to some other time and place.
We are often stuck on negative thoughts and worry that are unnecessary:
What if I get laid off next quarter?
What if my partner leaves me next year or in twenty years?
The term the Mind is what eastern spiritual traditions use to describe the not-so-peaceful and over-active aspects of our brains.

Certaintly one of the hardest tasks for a human is simply being present.
However, I have found that the more I think (about a future situation or problem) the less I know!!

Because we can never know the future.
And that's a good thing right? We are supposed to be here and now, not in 2014.So how do we do it? How do we stay present?

I encourage you to pay attention to and notice the places/people/activities that ground you in the present. Maybe it helps to be under a tree, or with your dog, or listening to a spiritual teacher or praying or practicing yoga...

There is no simple, fix-it-forever way to rid one's self of overthinking and drifting out of the now.
However,through mindfulness and re-centering we can certainly enjoy our lives more. And our energy affects those around us.

Here is little reminder that helps me:
Am I here?

Every day miracles

Don't we often find ourselves disatified with a situation in life -- a work problem, a conflict with a partner, financial concerns, etc?
And isn't it true that we find it hard to stop obsessing about situation Y or problem X?

We can thank our Egos for this tendency. Our Ego is the natural human tendency to focus on problems, fears, and wants instead of just being present and accepting our current life situation. Even if we do not like something, doesn't it make the unfavorable worse when we get all irritated and dwell on it?

Now if there is a problem/situation that you can fix, by all means FIX IT! Or come up with a plan to fix it, if the solution cannot be carried out now.
Then let it go.

Easier said than done. Way easier!!

One thing I noticed this week is that mini miracles are occuring every day. EVERY DAY. Good things, fortunate occurances, blessings are happening constantly.
However, it can be difficult to pay attention to these miracles when our Ego is at the wheel.

Here are three mini miracles that occured within a 24 hour period this week--
1. I left my purse on the trolley (containing 2 cell phones, wallet) and was tapped on the shoulder by a young man who watched me do this and returned my purse.
2. I had a close call with an accident on the highway.
3. I came close to taking a very risky path with my surfboard to get back up the cliffs (would have been a serious fall) and was stopped by another surfer who wanted to show me a much safer way.

I am quite sure that my mind was not focused on the present in these situations and each of them WOKE ME UP to the simple miracle that I am ALIVE and OK.
It became quite clear to me after each of these situations that there is a strong power of goodness and love in the world that is MUCH stronger than my problems and Ego.

It reminded me that every day there are miracles.

Look for them.

Listening...really listening

In a world of conflict, anger, sadness, and violence it is crucial that we really
hear and understand each person that we interact with.

If you are struggling with a person or interaction, ask yourself these tough questions:
What is the meaning behind his/her words? What is the person trying to say without saying anything? Even if I disagree, am I really listening and "seeing" him/her?
Or am I talking a lot, trying to control a situation to get a need met?

This revelation came to me after a discussion about meditation with a friend. We were talking about the difference between praying and asking God for something that we want versus simply tuning in to the Source of all goodness, love and guidance.

By trusting and listening to God we are more able to live in spiritual way, in touch with our true selves, and this naturally helps us to tune in and to connect with others because we are not pushing our own, ego-driven agendas.

And there is a real peace and sense of wellbeing and presence that comes when we are listening...

Really listening

Every day New

At certain junctures in life we often feel a need and an ability to "start fresh"....
For example when the new year begins many people decide to replace an unhealthy habit with a healthy one. Or those beginning a new job often make resolution to be more organized, or avoid gossip, or maintain a more positive attitude about clients and coworkers.

We do this to improve our lives. And it seems easier to make changes when something tangible begins.

But what happens to that fresh outlook, to that inspiring feeling of newness after time goes by? It fades, right?......and anything we label a resolution or tell ourselves we "should" do tends to feel annoying or forced.

What if....
Every day we woke up feeling new?
Like a clean slate, released of our problems, our unhealthy habits, even our story of who were are based UPON THE PAST.

Remember, the only moment that ever exists is the one happening right NOW.
It is fresh,
It is new,

And so are you!
Reborn each morning with God's grace
To walk steps you have never walked before.
To be the person you want to be today.

We are, every day,
New

The Miracle of You

This Sunday morning...
I am sitting in awe and gratitude.
After hearing a true story told by my brother;
About his good friend, a young and healthy, kind and intelligent woman
Who almost lost her life Friday night.

A rare medical condition, a specific type of artery rupture--
That often ends the physical life of a human in fifteen minutes.

You can call it luck,
Or divine grace,
But forces lined up perfectly--
She was near a top trauma hospital,
A particular expert surgeon happened to be on shift,
Her loved one was able to promptly transport her to the hospital.

Stories like this are shocking and scary.
But they can wake us up,
TO THE MIRACLE OF LIFE.

That's right-- you and your life are a miracle!
You are precious and your life as a human is ephemeral.

Are you enjoying your journey?
Are you content most of your days?

If not, what can you do to change your life-- to nourish and embrace yourself
In that which fills you with joy!?

We cannot escape pain and loss,
This is true;
No one is happy all the time.

But there are steps we can take to live more full and joyous lives;
To fulfill a higher purpose,
To brighten the lives of others and help the planet.

What can you do today to embrace and honor
THE MIRACLE OF YOU.

Embracing the journey

This morning while practicing yoga in my apartment the following message came through:

The yogi lets go of attachments,

While holding on to purpose....

And embracing the journey.

Whether or not you practice yoga, reflect on this for a moment:

How different would life be if you focused less on the outcome and your "wants".....and more on full experience of THIS MOMENT ?

Regardless of whether your mind really "likes" what is going on right now,

Can you be friends with the now?

Can you be at peace with life, 

Your beautiful, imperfect journey

Many small steps

I love the spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, (author of The Power of Now, A New Earth). Despite the fact that I have spent countless hours "studying" Tolle by listening to his audio recordings and podcasts, I continue to grow and learn each time I return to his words.

Even if I have heard the exact words before.
The simple act of listening to a highly conscious person speak can raise one's spiritual consciousness and ability to dwell peacefully in the here and now.

Last night I was listening to Tolle and Oprah's New Earth class chapter 9 webclass and I was struck by this message,

Many people (particularly young adults) spend a great deal of time trying to figure out how to achieve "great" things-- with career, finding a partner, starting a family, etc.
It can be overwhelming; the thought-
"Will I ever get there!?"
inevitably arises and and with it comes a certain
Fear
and detachment from the present moment.
"What if my dream does happen for me!?
"Then what?"
Fear

But once we recognize this as the Mind, the Ego, we can step and say no.
The truth is....

Greatness is achieved through many small steps.

One step at a time,
Starting with the one we can take now,
Is the quickest way to any desired goal--
Not all the steps, not tomorrow's 26 steps,
Just the one right now.

Tolle also talks about the importance of being at peace, not resistant, to the reality of the present.
Even if we do not like what is happening.
Fighting against life isn't enjoyable or helpful.

When we are not at peace it is hard to trust, to relax, to take that one step in front of us.
We stay worried, confused,
Stuck.

If you can relate to any of this, take a deep breath. Smile.
Isn't this moment a bit more beautiful now?

You have heard it a hundred times before, but remember:

It is not the destination, but the journey, my friends!

And you are exactly where you are meant to be right now.

Ego vacation

I recently made an interesting discovery.

When my body is physically ill (i.e. with a cold or virus), my ego buys a Southwest ticket and flies away...

For a short vacation.

First it does a little temper tantrum- "What? Sick again? This is ridiculous! You are supposed to have a good immune system. Now you may have to postpone plans and you certainly can't surf this week."

I bet you are laughing. The Ego can be pretty immature and negative.

But this happened to me Monday morning. I woke up with a cold, exhausted. After a few negative thoughts, I have been in a state of peace and surrender.

Still working each day,

Normal, typical schedule.

But not over-booking myself.

Not creating super high expectations for myself.

Just taking one task on at a time.

Yes, because I am physically tired I must take life one moment at a time.

Just this e-mail.

Just this phone call.

Just this one appointment right now.

The typical mind chatter- "Hurry, do more, do better; Should I do x, y, or z after work?"  has flown away with the Ego,

on its little vacation,

Leaving me with pure presence.

Which is such a gift.

So I will set my intention on extending my Ego's vacation as long as possible,

Even when good health returns.

If you have noticed yourself caught up in "the rat race" and you are feeling harried, stressed, and negative,

Get online and start checking airfares.

Purpose

Sometimes there is nothing more beautiful than silence-

And with it, the presence and space
To remember,
To connect with,
Who we really are

Underneath the facade,
The body,
The thoughts,
The story

Who we really are.

Yes you,
All of us
We ARE here for a reason
To make a difference

Yes, you know on a deep level
What I am talking about

You,
Beautiful divine being.
Show up for life
With peace

And precious moments
Of inspired creation
Will follow...

God made you right
Not perfect
God made you right for your
Purpose

You are blessed

As I mentioned, my body and mind are in the process of overcoming chicken pox.
And I am not surprised that this process is teaching me lessons,
Giving me a healthy dose of insight.

When things are going well and when we are healthy, it is so easy to take blessings for granted.
Isn't it?
I woke up the other morning with a list of mind-generated complaints and worries.
So I wrote them down.
And even though I didn't want to, I created a gratitude list as well.

Guess which one was longer?
Way longer.

But why did this take work to recognize?

Well, when bad things happen in our lives or to our bodies, we reminded of several things:
1) We are really not "in control" of many things in life
2) As time goes on our bodies take on different illnesses, some cureable, others not
3) Our bodies are only here for an extended stay....

The problem is our Egos do not like to be reminded of these things. Egos hate not being in control and being reminded that our human manifestations get one step closer to gone each day.

I found the chicken pox virus to be triggering my Ego more than it was itching my True Self (pun intended).
Many thoughts of "poor me, why now?, I am ugly", etc.....

We've all listened to our Egos, haven't we?

I had breaks from this and nice moments of meditation and connection-- with the love of friends and family, a friendly dog, my singing voice. Ah.... no disease can touch this

And a clear Divine message was silently said but loudly heard this evening,

No matter what is happening....
You are blessed.
You are always blessed.

Sometimes you are stuck

This week I got hit, knocked down, and covered head to toe in sores by the simple

Chicken pox virus, varicella zoster.

I have received varying reactions from friends and colleagues regarding this news,

ranging from laughter to surprise, to extreme sympathy.

In truth I was in great discomfort the first few days (achy, terrible sleep, extreme itching) to only moderate physical discomfort now. And a bit of shock when I look in the mirror. Now I am dealing with varying degrees of psychological discomfort and a case of bad attitude.

I find it ironic that I counsel people on how to get "unstuck" from unhealthy habits and ways of thinking. I teach meditation and I model a healthy mind-body lifestyle.

Until something like varicella kicks in.

Then I am pretty much back to the old ways of Ego and the self-inflicted suffering it produces.

I am remembering what it feels like to be stuck. To be either incapable or unwilling to raise my consciousness through spiritual means, 

Because my Ego, or unhealthy part of myself

Wants to be fed with sadness, "Oh look what I am missing out on outside."

Worry, "Will I scar?"

Impatience, "I can't handle two weeks of this!"

Etc....

My Ego has been well fed with my tears and complaints, with many attempts to "fix" the problem by trying every remedy possible and eating well and resting.

And guess what?

None of it worked.

Feeding the Ego with self-absorbed thinking never works.

We stay stuck.

I am over it.

Time to listen to kirtan, reflect on the suffering of others that is much greater-

And pray for them.

Finding and re-finding our true self

It is so easy to get caught up in the material workings of this world.  Wake up, hurry up, get to the next place, next task, next assignment. Earn the next paycheck, buy the next 10 or 100 items. Keeping busy, constantly thinking and doing until 

Bam! Something is not going your way.

Disappointment

Stress

More doing

More thinking

Maybe a you break to distract yourself with TV, socializing, complaining, or a few cocktails.

Some relief.

Then the next day, the cycle repeats.

Ever wonder if there is a better way to live?

I do not have a one-size-fits all answer.

But what I do know is that this tiring cycle is how the EGO (or our false, mind-centered sense of self) WANTS us to live.

And only your true self-- your spiritual self, the light within

Can help you out.

OUT

of the cycle 

You need only to find or re-find your true self. 

The answer to greater peace lies in getting out of the Mind.

In slowing down

To stillness.

To your breath.

You do not need anything else in this moment. 

You need only to remember who you really are.

If we didn't know suffering

Have you ever wondered why God allows us to experience such painful emotions?

Have you ever tried to run away from your negative emotion by distracting yourself with work, movies, or socializing?

If you answered yes, you are being honest.

If you answered no, reflect a little more....

Do you ever find yourself avoiding the knowledge of others' suffering?

Sometimes I find myself changing the channel when the nightly news comes on and choosing not to buy the newspaper, thinking:

"No thanks, I do not want to hear about tough and terrible things going on."

Sometimes we need a break, we need to keep it light, but

There is a fine line between not dwelling on emotional pain (or ours and others) and avoiding it altogether.

As humans we are meant to experience the full spectrum of emotion-- from happy, joyful, excited.....to downright sad and distraught. This is what makes life rich-- the diversity, the change, the ride of a life fully lived. 

And although parts of our journey on earth are painful, all parts are beautiful and worthwhile.

Because if we didn't know the feeling of suffering, we would not have empathy.

We would not coping mechanisms and wisdom to share with others when they are struggling.

And we have a responsibility (I include myself in this!) to be aware of world events-- both the good and the terrible because with knowledge and understanding comes the ability 

To reach out,

To help.

To heal.

Honoring our good intentions

Sometimes in life, despite our intentions and effort, things do not go well.

Perhaps a friend or loved one misinterprets your action.

Or you were trying to help,

but you made a mistake...

Or you crossed the line

And another person became offended.

Or perhaps your your company is asking you do perform a job duty that is not in alignment with your beliefs.

It can be very stressful when we are misunderstood, others are angry with us, or we are in the middle of an ethical dilemna. It can also be difficult to make peace with ourselves. Sometimes we become self-critical in these moments. Or we take a heavy burden home with us.

This occurred yesterday for me and several co-workers who are trying to help a family reunify, after being asked to do so by Child Welfare:

A history of child abuse, reasonable suspicion that a grandfather molested his 7 year old grandchild, a young mother who appears lackadaisical and non-compliant with safety precautions.

We are trying to help, as asked by our job, but what will happen to these children? The court is saying "send them home"; the protective agency (Child Welfare) is informed of these concerns, and here we are in the middle of a big

Ethical dilemna

You can see how it would be hard to be at peace with myself and my work on a day like yesterday. I carried a lot negative energy inside yesterday. I felt helpless. I questioned myself. 

I had to ask for help from a power greater than myself: God.

And a message came:

Honor your good intentions

Keep doing your best

Love yourself

That is what you can do.

The real believer doubts

Today I learned that anyone who has solid faith has doubted God at least once.

I believe that it is through the acknowledgement of doubt that a true relationship with God begins.

Let's face it-- no relationships are "perfect" and the best things in life do not come easy....

Today I went to a place I have been before-- fear and with it, a doubt that my Higher Power could and would see me through.

I grew up going to church and accepted that there is an all-good God.

But then I had a faith-shaking experience. Actually it was close to a faith-breaking experience--

My Mom got brain cancer.

We prayed.

Believed.

Trusted.

And she died anyway.

It took some time, several years, to get to a point where I re-found my mother again. Now I have a relationship with her that is non-physical and very beautiful.

And it took about the same amount of time for me to accept that God still existed, was still good, was still powerful despite His/Her not answering every prayer, particularly the most important one I had ever asked.

Today I had a quite an experience. I found myself plagued by one of my few irrational fears-- driving in a rain storm. Wham!

I tried the "God is protecting you. Do not worry."

But it didn't work. I didn't trust. My body remembered my first car accident (in freezing rain) and tensed.

I had two appointments scheduled in south county. So I got in the car. It began to rain. Then harder. My strong desire was to drive home to safety and to allow my fear to win.

And you know what happened?

God helped out.

Stepped in.

Showed me.

My appointments both cancelled (rare) and I drove home in a gentle rain.

...... the trust flooded back.

Do not be afraid to admit your spiritual skepticism-- to look at it, talk about it.

Even the real believer doubts.

How we are like music

Last night I had the privilege of singing with a talented trio of musicians-- a vocalist/acoustic guitar player, tabla artist (Indian percussion instrument; a pair of hand drums of contrasting sizes and timbres), and an electric guitar player).

I also had the privilege of sitting and listening to a unique and powerful jam session. 

And I realized this:

Our spirit (true self) is like music-- 

Timeless, formless

Pure energy in the form of vibration

Isn't this wonderful?

How beautiful of a song you are!

Express your beauty as music as you dance through life.

Out with the old, helps bring in the new

We are once again at the start of a new year, a time when tend to be more mindful of our goals. 

Change is difficult. Starting a new routine, such a going to the gym, is not as simple as saying "My resolution is to..."

Take a minute to reflect on why change is hard. 

Then ask yourself, 

"Is there an unhealthy habit or tendency that may be getting in the way of my new goal?"

Our egos spend a lot of time on things that we do not need. 

For example, a friend wanted to start her day with prayer and meditation but found herself watching TV or jumping on the computer each morning instead. She felt guilty and frustrated until she realized that she was listening to the wrong the voice in the morning.

Thinking/Doing

Her mind/ego said, "Respond to client e-mails right away. Your job, your income are priority."

Or "Check and see who won the award show last night. It will just take a minute." 

However, both of these activities shift us into the superficial, non-spiritual mode. 

Being

When my friend realized that her simple e-mail and TV check in the morning was taking an unfair amount of energy away from what she really need to fuel her soul, she made a change. Before doing anything in the morning she now waits to connect with the quieter, calmer, deeper voice that says something like this,

"You are complete; you are loved. You have all that you need. Connect with your inner light. The world will wait."

When we get rid of things that no longer serve us well (thoughts, unhealthy habits, old clothes) we create space for the new.

So that familiar habit you don't need....

It may need to go

For you to grow.

Creative? You bet you are

When I was in 9th grade I quit choir. The crazy part is I didn't quit because singing was no longer cool or because my crush signed up for guitar class. I quit it because I loved it.

And I thought I failed; wasn't a good enough singer.
And would fail again.

I truly loved singing in choir in middle school. But when I tried out for Womens' Concert Choir, I was not selected.

And I never tried out again.

Today I laugh recalling the pretentious title of this "select group" and the prim and proper choir director, Ms. "T", who probably thought that I was one of the rebellious kids due to how I dressed. Perhaps she already had her girls picked out before the audition. Or perhaps I didn't make it because 20 other young voices sounded better.

It really doesn't matter. What matters is that I love singing. And that many years later, I re-found joy in singing (and musicians to sing with) after letting go of the need to "good".

And one important lesson I learned is that we must love ourselves enough to stop the value judgements and keep doing what we love, regardless of what our best or worst critics say.

The other lesson here is that when I lost my attachment to sounding "good", my voice became beautiful. In a unique way. And I found kirtan music (devotional singing) which has a much higher purpose. It is about honoring the Divine-- within and outside of ourselves.

Value judgements and perfectionism stifle creativity. Be who you are. Be proud.

Worried again? You have a choice

The birds are laughing at me and how seriously I often take life…..

Ah, anxiety! To feel this emotion is to be human, isn’t it?
Birds and other animals certainly do not tense up and worry the way we do.

All emotions (sadness, anger, jealousy, stress) are part of the human experience. And it is healthy to honor and feel our emotions. The theory is that once an emotion is “felt” and acknowledged, that it will dissipate. At least that is the theory that I go by as a therapist.

Here is the kicker, though. We often hold onto worry/stress/anxiety MUCH longer than we need to. This manifests repetitive, worried thoughts and a tendency to overplan and control our lives in effort to “protect” ourselves from the negative outcomes we worry about.
This can also lead to constant tension and difficulty being “present” for life. Right?

I want to make two things clear:

1) anxiety/worry can be our friend. It can be a “call to action”. For example if your health insurance has expired and you find yourself having trouble falling asleep at night because you keep worrying "what will happen if I get swine flu?", this worry could be helpful. You are more likely to solve a problem if it worries you (i.e. re-new your health insurance policy)

2) We do have a choice about how much we worry.
If no action can be taken with regard to a worry, why continue to let it swirl around, disrupting the present moment?

Here are some tools that may be helpful:

--There is a technique called “thought stopping”. Every time the worried though creeps up, picture a stop sign. STOP.
“Why am I paying attention to my worry now—is it time to take action?” If there is no action to take, let the worry go.

--If that doesn’t work, imagine the worry as a monster or ugly creature that keeps appearing before you, uninvited. Stand up to the monster and say, “Dude- go away. I don’t need you right now. I am trying to enjoy the present right now.”

These tools may or may not work for you. And there are other ways to calm worry such as exercise, laughing, listening to music, meditation.

Want to worry less?
You can.
It is your choice.

For a reason

You have probably heard the phrase "things happen for a reason". I can both agree and disagree with this statement. 

See it depends...

With regard to atrocitries such a genocide and innocent people who suffer from severe illnesses I would never endorse the "for a reason" philosophy.

However, I do agree with the Buddhists that human life is marked by suffering. And as an optimistic I like to remind others that life is bittersweet; and along with the pain you will experience great joy. Or at least great wonder. What a world God has blessed us with! And we humans have much greater power to move, to grow, to evolve than any other species. (Now we do not always harness that power for good, but that is another topic.)

Let me ask you a question,

When something unfavorable occurs or a relationship ends do you ask yourself,

"What can I gain or learn from this loss (or mistake or miscommunication, etc.)?"

I believe that important lessons come disguised as problems and are often wrapped in pain.

What do you believe?